this is a video i filmed for my song Almost Living with my friend Ryan. Ryan came to visit while i was an inpatient in hospital and we shot this video, which is supposed to be a first hand insight into my ritual and routine while i am in hospital, over the course of one day. we wanted to organically document my food, my exercise, my treatments and procedures, the dried up pond surrounded by rocks i go to read at, taking my succulent outside for a walk, my drawing equipment, the stairwell i go to sing in and also the church organ that i play at night. all of these things provide me with a centre when i am sick. i have been playing that organ since i was 15, i have been reading by that pond since i was 13 and it means alot to me that i have a high definition film of the spaces in which i have grown so much and overcome so much pain. i feel so privelaged to be able to share it with such clarity, thank you so much Ryan, you don’t what you have done for me.
this song is part of an album i am working on about living with cyctic fibrosis and living in an out of hospital. it’s largely recorded in hospital so it’s gonna be heaps sad, but this is how i understand myself and come to terms with challenges in my life, through singing and making things. i hope that i can properly explain some of it and i hope you like what i have to say.
also please listen to this with headphones. the bass is way better that way. xx
spitting blood in scented tissues
cough draw tears
live like i already died at 24 years
ward floors shine like swords in fables
wheel chairs lined up like horses in a stable
the dying walk round here like they been spun in circles
supper time come
nurse buzzer glows
most nights no sleep
so i creep
to the moonlit smoking balconies
rain water on my spectacles, eye lash flutter
thinking about the eyes of my mother
live and die in almost way
even friends don’t know what to say
nobody know what to say
HTMLflowers’ new video.