kungfuontheinternet asked: hey i just read about your asthma and all the treatment you get and i find it really brave of you to share all this. i really admire you for being so open! i also have an autoimmune disease called colitis ulcerosa and i find it really hard to talk about most of the time because i really can't stand people pitying me. it feels like people with chronic diseases don't exist on tumblr, so wow to changing that. you're rad. xx
THAT IS THE FUCKING BEST! thank you so much. i hate that we have to hide the feelings were gifted with because it makes other people scared or uncomfortable. i feel like saying “look i’m sorry if my being open about my relationship with physical pain and the promise of death i live under makes you uncomfortable, but i just had a flash of how my mom will feel in the months leading up to my end and i really need to express that this shit is scary sometimes.” as far as i’m concerned the inspiration to live i get from having to fight for rudiments of health are a triple platinum gift and when i open my heart to share that i really want to be heard and respected. i hate that people who remind their communities of death or ailment are given pity, awkward looks, get called arrogant or self important if they have the audacity to share their fears and feelings.
in elementary school new teachers used to try and make me sit separate from the other kids sometimes if they didn’t bother reading any of the documentation on my illness. i was aloud to graduate every year in highschool long after i had stopped going to any relevent classes (i was later told by a teacher ally that the other teachers were afraid of failing me because i was supposed to die young). fuck pity. i want to be consoled when i ask, i want to be assisted when i ask and i want to be respected at all other times.
the other night my friend molly said “i have no idea what thats like, it sounds like it fucking sucks sometimes and i love you so much.” in response to me saying: “yeah ive just been really depressed lately and thinking about my illness and death all the time.” that’s mostly what i want when i want to talk about this shit you know? i hope you have some close friends who will listen to you about this. it is so important.
BTW i really like your drawerings and the girl gang zines!!! you are awesome too! thank you so much for your support. it gives me a new dawn in the heart to feel like i am deserving of you admiration. please write me if you want to take this ask down, i just thought it was a nice one to share and people can follow your link and look at your drawings! CHRONIC ILLNESS VISIBILITY ARTGANGS FOR LYF. xo grant
