i made this weird funny angry beat today! listen loud with headphones!! x
this is an old song off of an album i recorded last year basically all with mouth sounds and guitar through my macbook. you can free download it here: html flowers
i recorded this on my friends front porch after having a really ecstatic loving acid trip two days before. during the verse i am trying to describe the light falling onto a bush in my friends front yard and the end verse is referring to how at the end of our acid trip with my other friend we were casting these three tiny objects - rose quartz, a succulents leaf and an action figures monkey hand - across the pages of a beautiful old book of william blake’s poetry and examining the configurations with love and praise each time. “wish for a cyclic afternoon” is something i think of when i am experiencing a great love or happiness that i feel i could follow to the tip of infinities. at the end is a recording i did of my friend without him knowing when he was telling me about a dream he had. basically this song means love, friends, positivity and spaces of sensitivity in which all things are cherished as they wish to be.
lyrics:
i sense an a lambent pact
tumbling like drafts
from horizons rolled back
like cartoon window flaps
a reduction on the importance of math
and other oppressive symbols
and i would like to describe the glistening
prickers that have arrived
on the more forward bank
of the curving of a bush that resonates
in front of me the bright prickers born free
uh
sibling hood of pointedness and light perfectly
i see a halo type of ring upon the crown of most things
so i
wish for a cyclic afternoon
wish for a cyclic afternoon
recall
rose quartz
monkey hand
succulent
succulent
discharged from hospital - my breathing is better than it has been since 2005 - went straight to an old friend’s wake - cried looking at his elementary school report cards - avoided my stepfather - held my mother’s hand - met his brother for the first time and told him how much i loved him - woke up early in my freezing house - went to the city and printed 200 copies of a new comic full of drawings i did in hospital to give away - giving the new comic away tonight at the toff in town supporting elizabeth rose with oscar - doing some of the new treatmenats i was sent home on now - deciding what outfit to wear - thinking about how he is gone - feel strong in my lungs - i’m so happy i get to play tonight and give away free things - death sucks
today i used two rubber gloves tied together at the fingers twisting them tighter around my arm with a pencil as a lever while a blood nurse took my blood because there was no sterile tourniquet available for my blood test. no sterile tourniquets anywhere on the ward. all weekend i have had to use gravity lines for my IV (drip) which means it is not monitored by a machine and if my attention ever lapsed while the dose was going through the line could potentially “run dry” or fill with air, which should not happen as getting heaps of air into your bloodstream is NOT good. if i were unable to remain awake, as many patients on the ward are, this would be a much more terrible circumstance.
today i talked to my medical team about it and one of the doctors said it has to do with the fact that public health care services in australia have suffered something like a 40 million dollar budget cut this year. my family in america has always been extremely dubious of the level of service that comes with universal health care, but aside from this admission it has always been immaculate compared to american public health care services. cutting the budget for essential life sustaining services that do not create an income for government bodies is a terribly american custom. i urge anyone who reads this, if you have a hospital admission and notice that your care is inadequate, that the staff are stretched too thin or that the equipment used in your care is faulty, please please please complain. lodge formal complaints and whenever a health care official asks you how you are make time to explain to them in detail why your time in hospital has been harder than it has to be, its one way to let them know that we need a better budget and different mindset about these things. one of the doctors on my team was quick to reassure me that complaining is immensely important, as he put it “you need to let them know that using two rubber gloves and a pencil for a tourniquet is not adequate because if they think you’ll put up with that they will give us a budget for rubber gloves and pencils rather than tourniquets…”
my family and i fled america because of the way the ill are treated. i shouldn’t have to pay for the fault of my genes or the frailty of my body, no one should. if you are not treated with basic human empathy, respect and precision of care in your hospital RAISE YOUR VOICE.
next to my mother you were about the only person who ever yelled down on my stepdad for the way he belittled and undervalued me. you told me this thing once: “the real challenge, in my opinion, is to write something simple and honest, that’s what i think is beautiful. it’s the hardest thing in the world to write a simple song…” i think of that when i sing and when i write. i loved you so much. i’m so glad i knew you.
0n1sidelaythe0cean asked: Your friend Maddy doesn't have Cystic Fibrosis. Theres so much evidence proving she doesn't.. She's a faker.. I'm sorry, but we've known this for a while. She's basically banned from every CF clinic near her..
ive had enough dialogues with strangers on the internet now to know that there is no way to prove her illness to you, you cf crusaders are determined in your feelings about this, so i’m gonna go another way with it. let’s say your right. last night she told me that you went onto her personal page and posted about your feelings on the matter. this is one thing you CFer’s don’t get, EVEN IF WE PRETEND THAT YOU ARE RIGHT about this AT BEST (and i mean this is like your fucking absolute best case scenario in terms of your suspicions being accurate) you are publicly denegrating somebody who would have to be suffering from a severe personality disorder that in all probability would be linked deeply to her perception of what others think of her. is that how you would like to treat somebody with a potential mental illness? because let’s face it, IF you are right, which YOU believe you are, that’s what you are doing. is your heart so infantile that you can only speak from your own hurt pride on the matter? why do you see this as something that you have to pursue? (i had to put the PRETEND YOU ARE RIGHT in capitals because the last person i talked to about this responded with “you just said she’s faking!” so pay attention when you read this)
yesterday my friend ryan came up to film a day in hospital. it’s a video for the song “almost living” which has been uploaded a few posts down, the idea is that i show everybody the rituals i perform to cope when in hospital and the spaces in which i do it. there are alot of shots of my singing, writing and reading, which are like my main things while i’m in here most of the time. here is a tiny tiny preview.
i just got this picture in my inbox from a persyn named katie who wrote me about a month ago to design something to go underneath an old stick n poke triangle she did on herself! it looks really good, she is in america so i couldn’t do it myself! hospital sucks but this is making me feel waaaaay better!!
old watercolor i did for and old artshow about three or four years ago maybe.
